TITO JACKSON!!! – 57 (THE "Jackson" in The Jackson 5!!!)
Keyshia Cole – 29 (R&B minx.)
Ginuwine – 40
Dominic West – 41 (Detective Jimmy McNulty on "The Wire".)
Admitted Sex Addict Eric Benét – 44 (He used to be Mr. Halle Berry . . . but he was dropped due to his incessant mounting of other chocolatey-delicious Nubian minxes.)
–Paige Davis – 41 ("Trading Spaces" minx.)
–Vanessa Marcil – 42 (Remember that uncomfortable moment in the first season of "The Surreal Life" when Vince Neil casually mentioned how he used to nail Corey Feldman's wife? THAT WAS HER.)
(–Vanessa settled down and made a baby with SUPERSTAR Brian Austin Green. But that didn't last, either, because Brian is now . . . SOMEHOW . . . engaged to Megan Fox.)
–BRENDA K. STARR!!! – 44 ('80s singing sensation. Remember "I Still Believe"? I do! More importantly, she DISCOVERED MARIAH CAREY.) (-Brenda K. Starr sent a demo of her backup singer . . . Mariah . . . to Sony's Tommy Mottola. Tommy later married and made a star out of Mariah . . . and Brenda drifted off to the Rock of Obscurity with Taylor Dayne and Lisa Lisa AND Cult Jam.)
Saucy Sarah Ferguson – 51 (FERGIE. The British one, not the singer. She used to be a naughty topless-bathing member of the English Royal Family . . . then, a mini-chubby pimping Weight Watchers diets. But she still has the FIRE DOWN BELOW.)
Emeril Lagasse – 51
Tanya Roberts – 55 (Midge Pinciotti on "That '70s Show", red-headed minx from the old-school "Charlie's Angels", a Bond girl in "A View To Kill" and she was "Sheena".)
Larry Miller – 57 (Funny. He was the dad in "10 Things I Hate About You", and the guy who used to nail Eugene Levy's wife in "Best In Show".)
–CHRIS DE BURGH!!! – 62 ("Lady In Red" genius who now claims to have HEALING HANDS that can reduce the pain of people with injuries!!! He doesn't think he's special, though. He believes we ALL have the power to heal!!! Me first!!!)
–Richard Carpenter – 64 (The Carpenters)
–Penny Marshall – 67 (Slutty half of the sitcom duo "Laverne & Shirley".) (–She's a director now. Her movies include "Big", "A League of Their Own" and "Riding in Cars with Boys".)
–-LINDA LAVIN!!! – 73 (The very sexy Alice on "Alice"!!! I lost my virginity to myself thinking about her in that sexy Mel's Diner waitress outfit . . . SANS PANTIES. I think she may have kissed Flo's grits, if you know what I mean . . . AND I THINK YOU DO!!!)
ON THIS DAY…
1860 – 11-year-old Grace Bedell of Westfield, New York, wrote presidential candidate ABRAHAM LINCOLN a letter . . . suggesting he would look better if he GREW A BEARD. So he did.
1905 – In an article in "Ladies Home Journal", the very wise PRESIDENT GROVER CLEVELAND wrote that women shouldn't be allowed to vote . . . because they're too jealous, spiteful and vindictive by nature.
1948 – GERALD FORD married the very sexy model/dancer BETTY BLOOMER. (–They were married until his death in 2006. Sexy Betty is now 70 years old, single and has a rehab center named after her.)
1951 – "I Love Lucy" premiered on CBS. (–It ran for six glorious seasons, then returned for another three seasons as the "Lucy and Desi Comedy Hour" before living on in reruns for half a century.)
1955 – "The Grand Ole Opry" made its TV debut with guests LES PAUL and MARY FORD.
1976 – In the first debate of its kind between vice-presidential nominees, BOB DOLE (Republican) and WALTER MONDALE (Democrat) faced off in Houston. Bob LOVES the Viagra, ya know.
1976 – After having one too many cans o' whoop-ass opened up on her, TINA TURNER split from IKE, personally and professionally.
1982 – The first "Evil Dead" was released. (–It was followed by "Evil Dead 2" and "Army of Darkness" . . . and starred the incomparable BRUCE CAMPBELL as Ash.)
(–Demon to Ash: "I'll swallow your soul!" Ash to Demon . . . just before blowing its head apart with his boomstick: "Swallow THIS." PRICELESS!!!)
1990 – MIKHAIL GORBACHEV was awarded the NOBEL PEACE PRIZE for his role in bringing the Cold War to an end.
1991 – Despite sexual harassment accusations by ANITA HILL, THE VERY RANDY JUDGE CLARENCE THOMAS won Senate confirmation for the Supreme Court.
2002 – The founder of ImClone Systems . . . SAM WAKSAL . . . PLEADED GUILTY to charges of securities fraud, bank fraud, obstruction of justice, and perjury. He was later sentenced to seven years and three months in prison.(–This is that same insider trading nonsense that sent Martha Stewart to jail. SHE did five months of hard time at the FORMIDABLE Camp Cupcake.)
2003 – CHINA LAUNCHED ITS FIRST MANNED SPACE MISSION . . . when a Chinese astronaut named Yang Liwei went into orbit for 21 hours aboard their Shenzhou 5 spacecraft.